Just as we humans have a tendency to connect on a personal level with others in society, we often develop relationships with peers, superiors, and subordinates in the workplace. These relationships help make the workplace more enjoyable. The challenge with some of these relationships is that they will sometimes but a strain on our growth and development. We become hesitant to provide effective coaching, development, and constructive criticism because of our fear of damaging the relationships we have created. The bottom line is that without the feedback from others, we may continue to go about our way just as we are full of holes and leaks that others could help us fill. We are all striving to be better and need as much help as we can get. In the book of Proverbs, Chapter 27 verses 5-6 Solomon gives us some advice. Better is open rebuke than hidden love. Wounds from a friend can be trusted, but an enemy multiplies kisses. What Solomon is telling us is that if we are truly friends, then we should have the courage to provide correction. I heard Bishop T.D. Jakes once say we can’t correct what we can’t confront. If I don’t see it and you do, please tell me so I can correct it myself. Looking from the viewpoint of the person giving feedback, I must admit sometimes I have been hesitant because the recipient has not been receptive to it. This is a challenge but I know that I still have to give the feedback because it’s not about me. I just have to look at ways to give it so that it is received. A friend of mine uses this great expression” eat the meat and throw away the bones.” That means take the parts of the feedback given that you feel are beneficial, use it, and throw away what is not applicable. We have to recognize that our feedback is from our viewpoint and we can’t be so arrogant that we think we are always right. Hopefully, I have demonstrated in our past experiences that I am a friend and my intentions are good. Those that don’t care are foes and may give us multiple compliments that are not deserved. This doesn’t help us at all. Not only am I still here with the same issues, I now have been given a false sense of confidence which makes it even harder to be receptive to feedback from real friends. Here are the three takeaways from today’s blog.
1. Be a friend and tell others when they may be headed down the wrong path.
2. Do it in a way that demonstrates a sincere desire to help.
3. Be receptive to feedback recognizing that it represents the friend’s perspective but most importantly that the friend is only giving it because he or she wants us to be better.
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