I was given an expression about 15 years ago by Jamie Roth. Jamie was one of the navigators that was there to help me on my journey through call center management. We were desperately trying to inspire our representatives and leadership staff to reach and exceed critical metrics. As we began to develop plans, the energy level amongst the team was not very high. The suggestions for improvement were good but they were lacking a key ingredient-ENTHUSIASM! Jamie told us all that if we were not excited it was because we were not aware of what the last four letters of enthusiasm stood for. Of course we all began to try and come up with meanings and then Jamie told us. “The letters stand for I AM SOLD MYSELF!” Think about it for a second. Isn’t it true that when we excitedly try and convince someone to do something or even not to do something it’s because we totally believe in what we are telling them. That enthusiasm probably has just as much influence on their decision as the words that we are saying. Emotions are powerful motivators. When we are ready to present ideas or thoughts with the intention of influencing others, we need to take a quick pause to ask AM I Sold myself? If that question is not answered with an emphatic YES!, then chances are you won’t actually accomplish your goal of getting buy-in from others. Oprah Winfrey who I am sure most of you are familiar with has a great quote. “Passion is energy. Feel the power from focusing on what excites you.” The challenge for us all today is to find something that we can get excited about and to pursue that with all of our efforts. We will feel a surge of power! In order to keep that current flowing,  we just need to remind ourselves of all the reasons why this idea, goal, venture etc. is worth our energy and effort. Our excitement will be contagious and a constant motivator to ourselves and others. Think of that “thing” now and say it with me I am Sold Myself! I Am Sold Myself! I am Sold Myself!

Just as we humans have a tendency to connect on a personal level with others in society, we often develop relationships with peers, superiors, and subordinates in the workplace. These relationships help make the workplace more enjoyable. The challenge with some of these relationships is that they will sometimes but a strain on our growth and development. We become hesitant to provide effective coaching, development, and constructive criticism because of our fear of damaging the relationships we have created. The bottom line is that without the feedback from others, we may continue to go about our way just as we are full of holes and leaks that others could help us fill. We are all striving to be better and  need as much help as we can get. In the book of Proverbs, Chapter 27 verses 5-6 Solomon gives us some advice. Better is open rebuke than hidden love. Wounds from a friend can be trusted, but an enemy multiplies kisses. What Solomon is telling us is that if we are truly friends, then we should have the courage to provide correction. I heard Bishop T.D. Jakes once say we can’t correct what we can’t confront. If I don’t see it and you do, please tell me so I can correct it myself. Looking from the viewpoint of the person giving feedback, I must admit sometimes I have been hesitant because the recipient has not been receptive to it. This is a challenge but I know that I still have to give the feedback because it’s not about me. I just have to look at ways to give it so that it is received. A friend of mine uses this great expression” eat the meat and throw away the bones.” That means take the parts of the feedback given that you feel are beneficial, use it, and throw away what is not applicable. We have to recognize that our feedback is from our viewpoint and we can’t be so arrogant that we think we are always right. Hopefully, I have demonstrated in our past experiences that I am a friend and my intentions are good. Those that don’t care are foes and may give us multiple compliments that are not deserved. This doesn’t help us at all.  Not only am I still here with the same issues, I now have been given a false sense of confidence which makes it even harder to be receptive to feedback from real friends. Here are the three takeaways from today’s blog.

1. Be a friend and tell others when they may be headed down the wrong path.

2. Do it in a way that demonstrates a sincere desire to help.

3. Be receptive to feedback recognizing that it represents the friend’s perspective but most importantly that the friend is only giving it because he or she wants us to be better.

Wouldn’t incorporating these ideas in our relationships make life better?

A GPS or some navigational tool has become very common, especially among travelers. Advances in technology have made it possible to get this functionality in the palm of our hands with our phones.  The beauty of the GPS is that it will give you turn by turn directions from your current location to the place you want to go. Whenever we are in an area that is new or where we have not travelled, we tend to rely on the GPS to get us there because we know and admit that we don’t have the answers to our question of  “How do I get there from here?”. Today’s quote is from Solomon who is known as the wisest man to ever live. In the NIV version of the Bible, Proverbs 26 verse 12 states, Do you see a person wise in their own eyes? There is more hope for a fool than for them. Too often in life, we get to the point where we become so confident in ourselves and our own abilities that we are not willing to listen to the opinions of others. I know many of you can relate when it comes to getting directions. How many times have you been with someone that’s lost or even been lost yourself but didn’t ask or directions. I know I have been in this predicament as the driver and as the passenger. After about 30 minutes (or more) of wasted time and a 25-50 millimeters of mercury increase in blood pressure, one normally decides to ask for some help. If I had not been so confident in myself upfront and recognized that I could always use the advice of others, I wouldn’t have been late, frustrated, or on the verge of a heart attack. Too often we do this very same thing when it comes to navigating our way through life. Our arrival is delayed, we are frustrated, and we experience unnecessary anxiety because we refuse to seek the advice of others. Solomon tells us that at least a fool knows he doesn’t know everything and seeks advice. We have to be careful not to let our ego or pride get in the way of our timely arrival at our desired location. There will be people along the highways of life that can help us safely navigate. Sometimes they will call out turn by turn directions and sometimes we will have to stop and ask for assistance. Either way, we have to be receptive to the message and not be as Solomon phrases it wise in our own eyes. A person that already knows, can’t learn. Let’s keep our ears and eyes open today to the navigators that can help us along our journey and let’s be navigators for others that could benefit from our guidance. Together we will Make Life Better!

There is an excellent quote from the Dali Lama I’d like to discuss today. “There isn’t anything that isn’t made easier through constant familiarity and training. Through training we can change; we can transform ourselves.” This quote was shared by a consultant that I have been partnering with on a major culture transformation initiative for an International wireless carrier. The quote made me look back over life and reflect on some of the changes that have occurred. The positive changes in my life took place under the mentorship and development of several great leaders. These individuals were willing to invest time and energy into my life. In essence, I was trained by these individuals. Through spending time with them I became familiar with concepts and principles that I had not been exposed to or perhaps wasn’t mentally or emotionally capable of receiving previously. Looking back over your life and the changes that have taken place, would you agree that this quote from the Dali Lama simplifies what caused those changes. Unfortunately, there have been periods when I have changed for the worse. The quote holds true there as well. I want to encourage all to consider closely who and what you allow yourself to become familiar with and trained by. Your transformation lies in your associations. Thanks to all who have helped Make Life Better for ME!